sad

I try very hard to always find the good no matter what has happened. But this week and today especially I am finding it very difficult to see the good in anything. I was let down last week by someone that I was really beginning to think was an amazing person. But once again I was proven very wrong. I also am realizing how terribly I am failing at everything lately. I cant do anything that needs to be done and I am at that point I wanna throw the towel in and quit. But I cant quit. And as much as I want to stay curled up in my bed and forget the world I cant do that either. Today I broke down and cried cause there is so much wrong with my house and I am lost at how to fix these things. This was all stuff my ex would have done and fixed. And although I will figure it out it made me realize how much I miss having that person there to help me to be with me and to fix things I cant. Not missing my ex exactly just missing the companionship I had. Life can get very lonely at times when there is no one special to share things with. No one to go thru the highs and lows of my day. And I miss that. I miss having someone to curl up to with hot cocoa while on the porch swing. Im just realizing this week what all I am missing in my life. Ive enjoyed my single life and would miss parts of it. However it would be nice to have that one person to share everything with. It sucks sometimes that I unload on my 16 yr old about my day. She shouldnt have to listen to that crap. I miss having someone hold my hand and caress my face. Its little things I truely miss about being in a relationship. Single life has been fun but Im kinda over it. I guess I am what they call a relationship kinda person. I like having an other half. Hopefully someday I will find the man I am suppossed to be with forever. Hopefully he is out there looking for me too.