stronger then i thought

only a few people are aware of things that happened in my house this past month. the things i was faced with and looking at loosing everything we owned and looking at living with 4 kids in my van was truthfully the most unreal horrifying embarrassing situation i have ever been thru. All of which was totally out of my control and of no fault of my own. However I am greatly humbled and grateful thanks to a small handful of people that stepped up and made sure me and my kids were ok. never in a million years did i think things would ever be that bad and i never realized how wonderful my friends and family truely are. i mean ive always know they were great but in a crisis I am surprised at the ones who swooped in and helped make things better. I am also shocked by the ones who refused to help or refused to listen to my tears. the people i thought would be there were not at all. I have always been a strong person. But thru all this I have learned just how strong I actually am. And I have actually surprised myself with this. I have several things in my life that make me happy on a regular basis. And unfortunately some of things and people that use to make me laugh and smile are just not around anymore i guess. But this experience the past month has made me really realize just how far a person can go and how willing you become to do anything to save whats yours. The level of desperation a mom will go to so her kids can eat. And also looking at my life in such a different way now. Remembering who I am and what my values are. I have never hit a lower point in my life as the week before thanksgiving. And I hope I never ever have to see that hardship again. And I wouldnt wish it on anyone. Funny thing is even with all the loss I was looking at my kids kept smiles on their faces. They were strong while I was week. And amazingly we have pulled together and are so very close and strong right now. I would be no where without those kids of mine. And Im sure most of this will make no sense to anyone other then me. Ive just unfortunately went thru something that has opened my eyes, and made me really look at the life im living and how very fast you can loose everything because of one persons actions. Very scarey how one person can control so much of your life. Now off I go to live the life I came so close to loosing.